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Not
yet. Not till the next turning.
Along this road he can yet kid himself that he isn't bound for work.
Work thoughts are therefore not permitted inside his morning mind.
As agreed, he is late. Kate had to be dropped off at gym. Helen
will collect her. If Sue could drive there'd be no need for Her to self-importantly
collect Kate, and then stay on all day saying How Good She Is To Us. If
She hadn't been that good to Sue then maybe Sue would have learned to
drive. Barry feels a linear kinship with Sue's ex-husband in their loathing
of Sue's mother. (Ergo: circumstances create emotion.)
Leisurely late. Legitimately late. Diane will give him a handover.
He can take his time. Negative work thoughts.
He could - unlikely, but he could - along this road, be bound elsewhere.
This road of itself doesn't end in work. Along this road he can take his
time - time to look beyond the line of weeping willows to the water meadow,
pretend an interest in the nesting swans, ape pleasure in a glimpse of
their snowy sinewy necks. In this, his own car, he can pretend to be listening
to his own jazz tape
before his day is irrevocably overtaken by
pop.
Not yet.
On this road he can yet give in to the temptation to drive on, take
an arbitrary right, left; and go on until he comes to some hills
To wander there the daylong under the sky ... And should a child be murdered
in those hills, how to explain his being there? On impulse he took a right,
then a left
Past the corrugated barn, past the overgrown garage of asbestos
panels. Next, on the bend, is the low stone wall around the white cottage,
perspex conservatory, garden of delphiniums and hollyhocks. A life separate
from his.
He signals, slows and turns.
Now he is on the road into the village. Now he is driving between
dense hedges of clipped hawthorn, a blinkered track into a trap. Only
one feasible direction now. Onward to Bridge.
The name acknowledged, his heart rate increases. Here the first
house of the village with its meadow prospect and over-trimmed lawn, illegally
watered at night by sprinkler via electric pump - another public-minded
citizen.
Other houses properly rustic, wooden tubs with plants. Anywhere
houses, neat and tidy. Slow for the bend by the shop. Telephone box. Last
shift, Crystal phoning from there demanding to be collected and, being
refused, walking through the village shouting. Followed by the egg battle.
Handover jokes - yolk was on him, girls eggstatic, eggciting shift
another work shift without cause or consequence - eggsistantial. A shift
now two days old and overlaid (overlaid!), ancient history.
A whole new world awaits him. What plans are afoot for this Saturday
night? The very thought has tiredness threading itself through his teeth.
Into the narrow bit by the stream, iron railings through concrete
posts.
Now the farm entrance with its shit and straw and the long grey
wall of the barn. Brake, signal left, and park. Two cars and the minibus.
Only Diane's here. Good.
Collect his stuff from around the inside of the car. Delay.
He tells himself that he'll listen to the end of this Ian Carr number.
The bridge across the ditched stream is a wooden suspension bridge.
At either end are tall, twin uprights. Bolted timbers descend and ascend
in green-brown wood to the two pillars on the far side. Barry expects,
always, to find it burnt down on his arrival. No more job.
But the bridge is intact. No reprieve today. No pardon. No escape.
He pushes open the car door.
site : Bridge House
c.v. : Barry Geoffrey Gresham
previous surname(s) : -
age : 38
ethnic origin : British
siblings : 2 brothers, both older
marital status : twice married, second current
children (sex & ages) : boy(8) girl(10)
driving license : yes, 1 endorsement current
passport holder : yes
police check : yes
o-levels/GCSE(No.) : 5
a-levels : -
degree : -
previous places of employment (in descending order, most recent first,
no. of years in each, position held.)
The Firs. Leics. RH for EBD boys, 12-18. RSW. 3 yrs.
The Place. Walsall. Independence Training Unit. 16+ Both sexes. RSW.
4 yrs.
Four Ways. Herts. Therapy Unit. Both sexes. RSW. 4 yrs.
Culeway School. Peterb'gh. Mentally & physically h'cap. 12-18. Care
Worker. 5 yrs.
Pharmacon. Peterb'gh. Pill factory. Quality Control. 2 yrs.
Mrs Barton's Kitchen. Peterb'gh. Quality Control. 3 yrs.
Mills & Baker. Peterb'gh. Wine Merchant. Driver. 1 yr.
present position : Senior Care Worker
time with RETURN : 3 yrs
comments : Experienced. Steady. Unambitious. Enjoys outdoor pursuits
- mountain walking, etc.
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